livingnowsc

Living Now By SC

See Yourself..

on March 25, 2013

My son is 9 and he is what I like to call my mini me. He loves to sit on XBOX 360 live and play all day. This kid can play for several hours at a time.. It is crazy some days, I thought, until a little bit ago. I have been sitting in the same room as him playing and I am hearing myself. I hear myself and the way that I like to control others. He tells everyone what to do and gets mad and aggravated when they don’t listen to him. He is and wants to be in charge of everyone he is playing with. He has his mind set that he has to do all these glitches, and he gives out orders on what everyone is suppose to be doing. I hear him talking and I think how awful, I wouldn’t want to be playing with someone that talks to me that way.. Well, I would be that person.. I hear him and then I look back on different things and I hear myself, no wonder why I have very few friends, no one has wanted someone that tells them how to do everything. This is why I have friends who don’t have anything, or have major problems those are the only people who want to be around someone like me. It is amazing sitting here in the same room listening to him talk on this stupid game how much he has taught me about how I need to start treating others. I never was able to hear it before, I guess because it was coming out of my mouth and I didn’t really want to hear it. Now, I can hear everything I have said, and I don’t want to be that way. I am seeing how I can’t control everyone, and everything. Sometimes I just have to let people be themselves and just be me. I have to let them be who they are and stop trying to control everyone around me. The other day I was cleaning the house and it was the first time in a long time (maybe ever) that I wasn’t barking orders at everyone around me. In being that way, you end up making yourself incredibly rude and putting everyone around you down. I don’t want to be like that I want to be better than that. I know what it is that I can start working on within myself. Not everyone wants to do what I want to do, and if someone is nice enough to help me, I have to start excepting the way that they are willing to help me. This is part of my recovery, and what I need to do so that healthy minded people will want to start being around me. When you are seeing things in your children that you don’t like, we need to look inside ourselves and find that same behavior.

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